i’m logging out !
So freaking interesting and detailed and all-around useful and informative!
The title made me Nervous As Fuck, but it’s actually a very interesting read.
Here are the main parts:
- In the author’s experience, the 1-2-3 fingers ‘preparation’ thing that we all know and love (and happens in 99% of fics) isn’t done by gay men. It’s important to be relaxed and go slow, then take a minute to adjust - but the idea of ‘stretching’ with fingers isn’t recognised. (According to the author. There’s some fighting in the comments. He adds that written fingering is hot - it shouldn’t be wiped from fanfiction by any means - but it should instead be embraced as a pleasurable sex act of its own, rather than a mandatory stage of all anal sex ever.)
- Anal sex without preparation and lube isn’t actually going to cripple you. It’s commonly done, especially by long term partners, and frankly it can be part of the appeal.
- I’m so guilty of this. I’m sorry, End Game Myc, I didn’t know. Continuing sex after the bottom has come is generally very unpleasant and uncomfortable. It’s also seen as bad etiquette and very selfish.
- Cock rings don’t stop you coming. They prolong an erection, sometimes even after coming.
- The prostate isn’t a ‘press for pleasure’ button. It doesn’t produce an immediate shower of stars. Like all sexual pleasure, it builds gradually and needs sustained stimulation.
- Coming after two or three tugs of the cock shouldn’t be written as ‘standard’, even if the character has been on the edge for a while. It generally takes longer. Ten seconds is given as a ‘minimum’.
- Male orgasm isn’t really heat - it’s pressure - and it’s located more in the groin than in the belly.
- The slit at the end of a man’s cock isn’t that sensitive. The frenulum (underneath the head) is the sensitive bit. There’s also no large vein on the underside of a penis, and it certainly doesn’t swell up.
- Apparently we can make more of a thing out of pre-come. It’s normal for there to be loads of it. (Hurray?)
There’s more discussion, personal experiences and arguing in the comments.
I’d love to pioneer the “fingering isn’t necessary” campaign - but I know that the first fic I post without dutiful fingering will get at least twenty comments explaining to me how anuses work (i.e., they’re elastic and need to be stretched.)
I’m a cis woman, but I’ve had my share of anal sex and I’ve been campaigning that fingering isn’t necessary for years. Lube up, start slow, relax, and you can insert a penis without any prior prep.
Anuses don’t so much “stretch” as “dilate.” And if you’re experienced, you have some control over the muscle. I’ve even had anal sex without lube, and while I wouldn’t necessarily recommended that, it was not particularly painful and I certainly didn’t bleed or anything. There’s such a thing as rectal mucous. It’s not at all like vaginal lubrication, but a rectum isn’t totally dry. It definitely helped that my partner was uncircumcised (which will be true of most UK/European characters) and we weren’t using condoms. Foreskins reduce friction and condoms add it, so, I wouldn’t recommend unlubricated anal sex except in those circumstances.
The “one finger, two finger, three finger fuck” trope annoys me and I never write it. My characters usually just get down to the anal intercourse if that’s what’s on the menu. Or, if I do write prep, it usually involves butt plugs or rimming, since I like those things and I dislike fingering. I’ve never had anyone lecture me in the comments about how anuses work (and if they did I’d tell them where to stick it, literally).
oh my god. All the things that were low key bothering me as someone who had my fair share of anal too, but never dared to bring it up. Especially the fingering and lube part yeah. Thanks op!
Transcript:
My name is Greta Thunberg. I am 15 years old, and I’m from Sweden. I speak on behalf of Climate Justice Now!
Many people say that Sweden is just a small country, and it doesn’t matter what we do. But I’ve learned that you are never too small to make a difference. And if a few children can get headlines all over the world just by not going to school, then imagine what we could all do together if we really wanted to.
But to do that, we have to speak clearly, no matter how uncomfortable that may be. You only speak of green eternal economic growth because you are too scared of being unpopular. You only talk about moving forward with the same bad ideas that got us into this mess, even when the only sensible thing to do is pull the emergency brake. You are not mature enough to tell it like it is. Even that burden you leave to us children.
But I don’t care about being popular. I care about climate justice and the living planet. Our civilization is being sacrificed for the opportunity of a very small number of people to continue making enormous amounts of money. Our biosphere is being sacrificed so that rich people in countries like mine can live in luxury. It is the sufferings of the many which pay for the luxuries of the few.
The year 2078, I will celebrate my 75th birthday. If I have children, maybe they will spend that day with me. Maybe they will ask me about you. Maybe they will ask why you didn’t do anything while there still was time to act. You say you love your children above all else, and yet you are stealing their future in front of their very eyes.
Until you start focusing on what needs to be done, rather than what is politically possible, there is no hope. We cannot solve a crisis without treating it as a crisis. We need to keep the fossil fuels in the ground, and we need to focus on equity. And if solutions within the system are so impossible to find, then maybe we should change the system itself.
We have not come here to beg world leaders to care. You have ignored us in the past, and you will ignore us again. We have run out of excuses, and we are running out of time. We have come here to let you know that change is coming, whether you like it or not. The real power belongs to the people. Thank you.
Dacre Montgomery for Men’s Fashion Post
@granpappy-winchester thank u for these tags
Billy: I have very high standards, I’d never date anyone clum-
Steve walking in, tripping & falling face first on the floor: Ahh shit, oh hi guys!
Billy: I want him.
In a fight, they’re lethal
around each other, they melt
❤
Season 2 was all foreplay and no one can convince me otherwise
